The following excerpt is adapted from:
Elizabeth Pantley
Author of Kid Cooperation and Perfect Parenting © 2002. Elizabeth Pantley
www.pantley.com/elizabeth
- Treat each child as an individual. Help children understand that they are treated differently by you and have different privileges and responsibilities because they are different individuals.
- Respect each child’s space, toys, and time when he wants to be alone, away from his sibling.
- Avoid labeling or comparing one child to the other. This feeds into their competitiveness.
- When a new child comes into the family, prepare the older sibling for his new important role. Make him feel like it’s his baby, too.
- Play detective. Watch and note when siblings are not getting along (before dinner, in the car, before bed) and plan separate quiet activities for those times.
- Watch how you treat each child to see if you are contributing to the rivalry. Make sure you are not playing favorites.
- Have realistic expectations of how they should get along, cooperate, share, and like each other.
- Positively reinforce them when they are getting along or when they solve their own conflicts.
- Make each child feel special and important. Try to spend one-on-one time with each child every day. Take time out for yourself to re-energize. Remember, sibling rivalry is a normal and expected part of family life.